Halloween is just around the corner! You have TV channels filled with horror movies, houses decorated with skeletons and spiders, and children dressed as the scariest monsters. But what haunts YOU the most?
Seeing it as my perspective what I dread most are just three innocuous letters that tend to follow a question, and though their simplicity may hide the real meaning, my heart starts speeding every time I read them combined: WHY? when I hear this, I think of different implications it has: justify your answer, explain your answer and If so, why. Now you have three options to either avoid or confront the why. Most time the laziness would overpower coming up with the popular and typical response of “I don't know”. Which obviously is the easiest way to go. Still, there's a catch, since people will push you to think, I will come back later to talk about that. Then you could disagree to agree, or agree to agree. But, there's yet another catch; this only works with one type of question: If yes/no why? Then going back to a previous option you would need to think. Oh no thinking?!, I'm too lazy to think right now, but this time you can´t escape with the “I don't know”. So you think and think and think but still your mind goes blank , too much thinking or too little thinking. And as you try to delve deep into the concept but perhaps feel like you'll drown because you have been too much time underwater. And as you come up to breath some fresh air, you realize you don't understand it well enough. So you think and think and think, but you still can´t get the answer you need. So… you get frustrated. Frustration takes over your body and blinds you from thinking because this one time you don't have answer, a good answer, a right answer as you always have to have. You tried to disagree to agree and agree to agree, and convincing other that you don´t know the answer. And because you really don´t have it, you torment yourself perhaps coming to the theory that your are too dumb to know, that you don´t know how to explain yourself which can seem so easy because if you know the answer you should be able to explain it. And you always have it, but this time you don´t. And it frustrates you that you don´t. You´re not only frustrated but afraid. You can´t get that answer, you can´t explain yourself because you're afraid of the implications behind it, you may find out it is wrong or not something you expected. Either the why behind a math problem or the tear that just fell from your eye. You cheat on yourself by saying that what you said is right so you won't have to see the why behind it. Sometimes you need to break that thin shell made up from lies and fake reassurances to see what it has been protecting, making yourself vulnerable and open to explore because it´s hard to explain but the best thing you can do is not to be false and learn from yourself.
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Cristina BarclayCurrent eleventh grader at Colegio Franklin Delano Roosevelt, taking the IB diploma program. Archives
May 2016
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